So I've been working in a high school since the beginning of December. I NEVER thought I would end up working in a high school. I HATED high school. However, I find the kids to be freakin' HYSTERICAL. I love my job despite the fact that I make minuscule amounts of money. Here are some of the quotes I have managed to record since I started.... These kids may not be as young, but they are still quite funny. :)
Student: "OH MYLANTA!!" -- This is the first time I have ever heard this quote. Apparently it is widely used around the school. I can't help but giggle to myself everytime I walk down the hall and hear this. haha
After a Geometry class on triangles:
Student: "It makes sense.... but it doesn't!"
When asked what triangles have with the teacher motioning to the sides of his body (The correct answer was sides)
Student: "HIPS?!?!?!"
How to deal with crumpled money:
Student: "Get the money wet in the sink then blow dry it. It will come out nice and crisp." (Rubbing fingers together) -- Who even thinks about this?? haha
Why Massachussetts is awesome:
Student: "Why you hatin' on Massachusetts man? Massachusetts is awesome! Read the history books -- BOSTON TEA PARTY!!" -- Obviously this was the start of our awesomeness... reppin' since the 1700's!!
On Chivalry:
Student: "You pick her up and carry her over the puddle. That way you can show her how strong you are AND that you can protect her." -- Yes, guys. Show us your muscles... just don't drop us...
On paying kids to pass class:
Teacher: "Could I give *George* $100.00 to pass my class?"
Student: "No, cuz it's not gonna happen" -- Great attitude... haha this was a senior who is OBVIOUSLY going to pass the class.... and the name has been changed for confidentiality purposes.
Epic Laziness:
Student drops a men slightly out of reach. Instead of leaning a little further to get it... the kid uses the poster board on his desk to drag it closer to him. This made me laugh pretty hard....
These are the best ones I've heard so far....I can't wait to continue to rack them up! Despite the fact that the kids have become older, they are still able to come up with great material to fuel a blog! Holler!
- Jen
Monday, December 26, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Funny Like That
I find it interesting the way in which kids adapt to the adults they are around. They know what they can get away with with certain people. Whereas with others they would NEVER pull that same thing. For example, the kids that I am watching now are a certain way with one of their parents and with the other they are completely different. And it sucks because one parent s so much "easier" than the other and clearly breaks from the routine which makes everything harder.
The sad part is that I remember pulling that same stuff with my mom and dad. I would never have defied my dad or push his boundaries. My mom, on the other hand, was so much easier and would cave at the slightest sign of tears because she felt bad. it's not just with parents either, it's with any adult authority figure.
The sad part is that I remember pulling that same stuff with my mom and dad. I would never have defied my dad or push his boundaries. My mom, on the other hand, was so much easier and would cave at the slightest sign of tears because she felt bad. it's not just with parents either, it's with any adult authority figure.
I guess people do it in their jobs and lives too. Act a certain way with certain people. Why is it so hard for us to be ourselves? I just think it's weird that it starts at such a young age that it becomes part of our nature. I guess people are just funny like that.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Summah, Summah, Summah Time
After coming to the realization that preschool wasn't for me, I took the initiative to actively begin looking for a job which I could enjoy during the summer. I came across a camp job and, low and behold, three months later I am working in Belgrade, Maine for the summer. GORGEOUS. Obviously a camp job entails working with kids, but for this job I am also working with two kids who are younger than I normally would have expected. I am nannying for the summer. I figured two kids are better than fifteen out of control ones. Right? Right. Definitely.
Anywhooo. Coming into this I was informed that the little girl I am watching would be shy and hard to warm up. FABULOUS. But also, this was wrong. She is defnitely the more confident of the two when I am around. The little boy is too cute though. He's 4 1/2 (His sister is going to be 6 this summer), but he is SOOOO hard to tear away from his mom. It's funny because he'll have moments where he's my little buddy and is ready to go out and play and do whatever. THEN he has complete 360 turn arounds where he wants nothing to do with me and I am the evil witch who have come to take him away from mommy.
Now, if anyone knows anything about me, it's that I hate being considered the "bad guy." So for the first few days, and many more to come I'm sure, this made me really anxious and upset. I'm soooo used to kids being excited to see me and looking up to me. And while this little boy does sometimes, it appears that most of the time he thinks I'm either going to eat him or steal him from home. Weird. Kids are cute butttttt I'll hold off for a while. Please and thank you. No desire to steal him what-so-ever.
So. how do I convey to him that I am a safe person to be around. I've tried sooo many tricks in my book that I've run out. The only thing that even remotely works with him is horse-play. Which ends up biting me in the butt in the end because he gets wired. I do have to say that he is able to entertain himself for HOURS and that my boss is really lax about stuff and understand that I am not wonder woman coming into this. So, while it's stressful to be in this position, it's also funny to look at it from an outsiders point of view.
Here's a story. So.... Mom is handing said little boy over to me explaining how she needs to go work. The little boy is fussing and screaming and kicking trying to get back to his mom. So, I get to walk away with the screaming child. (AWESOME...NAAAAAAAAAHT). Anyways. I try tickling and everything to distract him. NOTHING. Sooooo... I flip him upside down. OBVIOUSLY THIS WORKS. But it's only a one time deal, as I tried it again and he started crying louder. Oy. I wish kids came with an instruction manual sometimes. But I chose this so the only person whose but I can kick is my own.....although he seems to be doing a pretty good job already.:)
Anywhooo. Coming into this I was informed that the little girl I am watching would be shy and hard to warm up. FABULOUS. But also, this was wrong. She is defnitely the more confident of the two when I am around. The little boy is too cute though. He's 4 1/2 (His sister is going to be 6 this summer), but he is SOOOO hard to tear away from his mom. It's funny because he'll have moments where he's my little buddy and is ready to go out and play and do whatever. THEN he has complete 360 turn arounds where he wants nothing to do with me and I am the evil witch who have come to take him away from mommy.
Now, if anyone knows anything about me, it's that I hate being considered the "bad guy." So for the first few days, and many more to come I'm sure, this made me really anxious and upset. I'm soooo used to kids being excited to see me and looking up to me. And while this little boy does sometimes, it appears that most of the time he thinks I'm either going to eat him or steal him from home. Weird. Kids are cute butttttt I'll hold off for a while. Please and thank you. No desire to steal him what-so-ever.
So. how do I convey to him that I am a safe person to be around. I've tried sooo many tricks in my book that I've run out. The only thing that even remotely works with him is horse-play. Which ends up biting me in the butt in the end because he gets wired. I do have to say that he is able to entertain himself for HOURS and that my boss is really lax about stuff and understand that I am not wonder woman coming into this. So, while it's stressful to be in this position, it's also funny to look at it from an outsiders point of view.
Here's a story. So.... Mom is handing said little boy over to me explaining how she needs to go work. The little boy is fussing and screaming and kicking trying to get back to his mom. So, I get to walk away with the screaming child. (AWESOME...NAAAAAAAAAHT). Anyways. I try tickling and everything to distract him. NOTHING. Sooooo... I flip him upside down. OBVIOUSLY THIS WORKS. But it's only a one time deal, as I tried it again and he started crying louder. Oy. I wish kids came with an instruction manual sometimes. But I chose this so the only person whose but I can kick is my own.....although he seems to be doing a pretty good job already.:)
Monday, May 9, 2011
Circling the Drain
Working with children leaves one with an unlimited amount of stories. While some of these include lessons, for me the most memorable ones are the stories which leave me with a big smile on my face. Currently, the logic and reasoning of the two and three year olds I am taking care of provide me with a few good stories a week which is the reason for this blog. I got tired of letting these moments pass and decided that I needed to start documenting them. What better way to share them than through a blog? To start off here is an example of what I mean...
At the preschool where I am a teacher we have a little boy who is OBSESSED with drains. When I say OBSESSED I am not exaggerating. This little boy is constantly observing the way in which drains work. He will be in the bathroom clogging the toilets or at the sinks plugging and unplugging the drains. Sometimes we even catching him putting paper towels on the drains on the floors in an effort to try and clean the dirty drains.
At the preschool where I am a teacher we have a little boy who is OBSESSED with drains. When I say OBSESSED I am not exaggerating. This little boy is constantly observing the way in which drains work. He will be in the bathroom clogging the toilets or at the sinks plugging and unplugging the drains. Sometimes we even catching him putting paper towels on the drains on the floors in an effort to try and clean the dirty drains.
In the center of the playground we have a large drain which this little boy inevitably will try to put anything and everything he can get his hands on. From buckets of sand to mardi gras necklaces to leaves to broken pieces of toys. If it fits through the grate, it goes down the drain.
In addition to his skills of scientific observation, this little boy is also an artist. He will draw simple squares with circles in the center and intersecting lines going through this circle. When he is done, he will come up to me and tell me about his drawing. Each time it his description varies. Sometimes it is a regular drain. Other times it is a clogged drain. Still more, he will draw a drain with water going down it. When he gets bored with his standard drain he will take stencils and draw shapes with intersecting lines in them. Once he used a stencil to draw and apple and told me he drew an apple drain. Simple things like this. Now you know what I mean when I say OBSESSED...
In addition to his skills of scientific observation, this little boy is also an artist. He will draw simple squares with circles in the center and intersecting lines going through this circle. When he is done, he will come up to me and tell me about his drawing. Each time it his description varies. Sometimes it is a regular drain. Other times it is a clogged drain. Still more, he will draw a drain with water going down it. When he gets bored with his standard drain he will take stencils and draw shapes with intersecting lines in them. Once he used a stencil to draw and apple and told me he drew an apple drain. Simple things like this. Now you know what I mean when I say OBSESSED...
This morning, the little boy got dropped off. His mother told me that they had gone to the zoo. So I proceeded to ask him how his trip was. He told me that he liked the animals that he saw. When I asked him which animals he saw, he told me that he saw a lion. I asked him again and he said a kangaroo. As always, the third time is the charm. When I asked him what other animals he saw his reply was, and I quote, "I saw three drains like the this one!!"(pointing to the drain in the center of the classroom). I couldn't help but laugh at this three year old boy who takes intrest, not in the normal features of a zoo, but of the simple things that normal people overlook (like how many drains there are on the ground).
It's small stories like these that happen multiple times every day that can bring a smile to my face and hopefully to yours as well. I hope you enjoy my blog and the stories I have to tell about the little ones.
It's small stories like these that happen multiple times every day that can bring a smile to my face and hopefully to yours as well. I hope you enjoy my blog and the stories I have to tell about the little ones.
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